I haven't posted a new journal in over a year because nothing of great importance had come up since.

But today Michael Jackson, the singer I've idolized all my life, is gone.
Say what you will about him, you can never deny that he was a musical genius. My sister said it best, "You may not love him, but respect the ones who did." I hate reading all of these cynical comments I've seen everywhere, but I'm touched by all the love MJs fans have poured out, including from myself.

I feel that I can honestly say that I've been listening to MJ's music since before my birth; due to my dad's own fanaticism for him, listening to his music while I was in my mom's womb. I was born on his birthday. While he was born in '58, same as my dad, I was born in '85. Unfortunately, he died on my sister's 29th birthday today. I fear that every time our birthdays come around, I'm going to break down again.

I had always known that I was going to be deeply upset upon his death, but I was hoping that it would happen many many years from now. Mike was a huge impact on me during my singing years. I sang his songs the best because they are the best. His music helped me out throughout some bad times. When I needed to escape, I played one of his CDs or cassettes and just let everything go.

Trying to keep myself from hurting too much, I'm going to vibe out to every MJ media I have. I'm currently watching Moonwalker. Yes, that movie is so cheese-tastic, but it was Michael. Plus, the intro to the tape is a wonderful tribute-like medley of everything that made him a superstar. I am still crying, but doing this is helping me process and move on. I don't want to continue being sad for the rest of my life about a singer who has made me happy all these years.

Good-bye, Michael. Thank you for everything. Rest in peace.